Your tell your girlfriend to make you a sandwich, she actually makes one for you.

What's the safest way to tell a racist joke? Ask everybody who might hear the joke if they would be offended by a racist joke.

Why did the chicken cross the road? -I do not believe chickens like being questioned of their motives. We should leave them alone.

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Q. What did the pedophile get when he went to jail? A. Exactly what he wanted.

Why did the black guy punch the white guy? They were both professional boxers.

The Holocaust? What's worse than finding a worm in your apple.

Q. why did the skeleton crosse the rood. A. he didin`t becas he had no guts

why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? He likes bungie jumping, and wanted to cheer himself up by doing one of his favorite hobbies

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse said nothing because it doesn't understand human language.

Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

What did one cat say to the other cat? Meow. What did one dog say to the other dog? Meow. Why was the man sad? He had a retarded dog.

Johnny has 32 cookies. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes, Johnny has diabetes.

Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

what is green and smells bad? an orange dolphin that poops out rainbows.

what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

what do you call a man with a bullet hole in his leg? A man who needs t see a doctor.

A: When was rhe last time you touched yourself? B: A few seconds ago when I had an itch on my arm

What do you call a mormon in a red jumpsuit covered in black spots? Proper terminology for this scenario has not been yet made

What did the horse say to the cow? Nothing because animals cannot speak.

What did the sad orphan with liver cancer get for Christmas? Pictures of dead babies to put things in perspective.

What do you call a black man with a guitar? His name

A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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