- Anti Joke

What do you call a dolphin mixed with a cheetah? I have no idea I was hoping you knew.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have 5 fingers. The middle one is for you.

What do you call two black men riding on a tandem bicycle? Best friends.

How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

why is dog animal? it is not fish! 18 fits of has hair only have is Buddhist

What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

A Christian and an Atheist are sitting next to each other in a bar. C: Sad you don't believe in God, 'cuz you'll go to hell after your death. A:I don't believe in hell neither..

My period is red, Your sauce is white, now pull down your pants and let me do my workout.

i'll leave 'em dead in the living room. get it leave 'em dead in the living room

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

minorities.....

Why did Kristi drop her chap-stick? Kristi was of the many children held in hostage of the Jewish heritage during the times of Hitler's wrath. At the Concentration camps they were not given the opportunity to maintain a healthy, average diet thus decreasing her body strength. No longer could Kristi hold her chap-stick - alas her frail little fingers slowly released the cylinder shaped tube and hopelessly watched it hit the ground. As it hit the ground, a cloud of dust swept over Kristi's body. At the same time Kristi was taking a big whiff of fresh air (just kidding, the air at concentration camps were not fresh - it reeked of acid) she accidentally inhaled the dirt which fled through her body and made her faint. She woke up and it was a dream, lol.

whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion getting raped by 2 giant scorpions

What did the chocolate milk say? Yoo-hoo.

What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

how do you get lady gaga to wake up in the morning? Hit her with a brick

Why did the vegetarian eat a steak? Because he was not a vegetarian

Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

what happened to the man who is standing in the rain? he got wet

What do a turtle and an eagle have in common? They can both fly. Except for the turtle.

Why did Susie fall out the swing, Because I hate disabled people and i pushed her

how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

What do Jerry Sandusky and Michael Jackson have in common? They both had sex with little boys.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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