Why are you bored? because fungus grows in your eyeballs so you try to stab it out but you end up blind and dead lol

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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How are Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga similar? They are both men except Justin Beiber

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

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a man walked into a bar....

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Choir.

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you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

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You know the drill, the world is not as black and white as it was before, just because we are not on the same side, does not make us enemies either. As for whatever is going on, I can assure you I had nothing to do with the fall of the first underground, and neither will I make sure whatever you scraped together, large or small falls either, I realize I should have thought this trough some more, but we had little time to act on this one.

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A black person tans and starts to peel, what do you get? A white person.

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Laughter is the best medicine. Not for cancer.

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DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

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What did the pear say to the orange? Orange ya gonna say hi? What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk.

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Why did the astronaut die in space? Just kidding there was no astronaut. It was a cucumber

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Obama walks into a hospital....

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What did Goldilocks say to the Three Bears? No one knows. Her remains were discovered three weeks later.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? her dad threw a refrigerator jlr

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a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

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Why was the man white? Because he wasn't black. All credit goes to Caravel.

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Why was the man struck by lightning? Josh Mathai was there.

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what do you call a shitty anti-joke? A shitty anti-joke.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is quite strange, but then realizes he is dreaming. He awakes and tells his wife about it. His wife tells him to go to sleep. The bartender is now sad because he realizes his marriage is in shambles

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Knock Knock Who's there? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny your son let me in mom! Son, I have something to tell you. What? Well, you're actually adopted *sobs*

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What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

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whats worse then finding your mom with your boyfriend? finding your dad with your girlfriend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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