Q: What the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage

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A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

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Why did Ant Man die? He was shot by a gangster, duh.

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Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Why did the two children go sledding? Because they liked to sled.

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your mom is so fat jesus couldnt even lift her spirits

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

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What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by your great grandma

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Why are anti-jokes funny? They are not because they have no punchline and if you wern't a complete dumbass you would have the ability to read the description on the right off the page.

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Why was the little girl not allowed to see the pirate movie? It was sold out.

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What's the difference between an onion and a baby ? You cry when you cut the onion.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar she took the back seat

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Like is like a penis long and easy. But women make it hard

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Kony 2012 - Uganda Be Kidding Me

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Two goldfish are swimming in the ocean. One says to another, "I don't think we will be able to survive in this salty environment".

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Why was the Pizza Delivery boy crying? He was sad.

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Many men trespass on my property to taste my milk based beverages. They insist that it's quality is superior to yours. I could teach you how to make such milk based beverages, but I would have to levy a fee.

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Knock knock. With the invention of doorbells, knocking has become almost obsolete.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a disease, it's called cancer.

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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