What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a disease, it's called cancer.

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what did the terrorist get for christmas? probably nothing because terrorists are steriotypically muslim, but i imagine if not it was a gift close to his heart

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A rabbit hops into a bar and sits on a stool, he then asks for a carrot, the barman didn't have a clue what he said because it was a rabbit so gives him a carrot to be generous. The bar door slams open and animal control put him in a cage and take him away. The moral of the story is that you should never let rabbits in your bar.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

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Q: what did the white man say to the black man? A: hi

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

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Do you like fishsticks? Yes I personally think they are high in saturated fats, but to each his own Oh I thought you were asking if I was homosexual

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Why did Ant Man die? He was shot by a gangster, duh.

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Q: What the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage

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An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

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Why aren't anti jokes funny? Idk. Watermelon in your pants, you're adopted.

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THE GAME.

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A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

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the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

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A: "How much rope does it take to hang a baby?" B: "I don't know, how much?" A: "The guy at Home Depot didn't know either."

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What do you get when an elephant and a pig have baby? Nothing, mating between animals must take place between animals of the same species, thus making it impossible to cross these two animals

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2 Scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for H20, and the second one asks for H20 too. They both enjoy a refreshing glass of water.

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Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

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your mom is so fat jesus couldnt even lift her spirits

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What's the difference between an onion and a baby ? You cry when you cut the onion.

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Kony 2012 - Uganda Be Kidding Me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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