How did the baby cross the ocean? It was stapled to a whale.

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What do and Asian and an orange have in common? They are both complex, carbon based life forms living on the only world in the universe known to harbor life.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.

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What is the best way to deal with a broken ankle? Ear Lobes.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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where would you find a blind man's car? exactly where he left it...

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How come Helen Keller couldn't drive? Because cars were not invented back then.

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My mom told me and my brother to clean up o te commercial...but we were watching Netflix

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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Why did the baby stop crying? I hit him with a brick.

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why is it good to be a fireman? because they save lives

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what's the difference between a jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your nuts with a jew.

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Q: Why was little Timmy afraid of clowns? A: The one at his birthday party killed his parents.

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what's worse than being attacked by a giant ant? being attacked by two giant ants

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A man wanted to kill himself.. He did.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? because it got shot before it could get there.

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why was 6 afraid of 9? cause thats just gross.

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What do you do when a red gorilla comes running at you with 7 dominoes in his hand Ask him to stop

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what did the paraplegic man get for Christmas? a unicycle

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If you could eliminate one thing in your life, what would it be ? My ex.

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Why did the little boy grow up to be a homosexual man? He didn't find the female reproductive system sexually appealing

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Did you hear the one about the girl who had three nipples? Neither did I.

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Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops