A man walks into a bar. A few hours later he walks out.

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What's red and the size of a packet of crisps? A Miscarriage

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There once was a man named Steve. One day, Steve stumbled stupidly, shredding his shirt, shoes and shorts and subsequently shocking Susie; a small shy salsa student. When he arrived home, Steve's wife asked "how was your day dear?" Steve panicked at the thought of having to explain this traumatic event, but thankfully he had undergone speech therapy for his lisp.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm a bitch and so are u????????

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Why did greg come to America? Because he wanted visit the states

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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Lebron James got a new iPhone, but he has to keep it on vibrate because he doesn't have any rings.

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What did the Jew get for Christmas ....... An ashtray

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It's good to be a scientist and great to be a biologist. However, it is never okay to be a scientologist.

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Why did Amy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Amy

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What did the cow say to the other cow when the boy asked him for something to drink? Probably MOOO! Considering that cows cant say anything except for that

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What's 1 + 1? Fish. What's 2+2? Window. pie.

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A man walks into his house only to find someone in the livingroom touching the stereo. He then goes up to his wife, and kisses her.

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Q:Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? A: Neither did she

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What do u call a woman geometry teacher. Santains wife.

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What's worse than a tree getting cut down? This joke.

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Whats the difference between harry potter and the Jews? Harry potter could escape the chambers.

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A german walks into a London Pub. He turns to the man on his left and says, " Hallo Kolleginnen und dort bar Mäzen. Ich bin gespannt zu sehen, ob wir eine Beziehung herzustellen, wie ich gesucht Gespräch, als ich in der wunderbaren Kultur, die London zu bieten hat. Ist das in Ordnung mit dir? Heil Hitler"

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the seat next to you? A: Whatever his name happens to be.

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Clyde: Hey John! :D John: Hey clyde! :D Clyde: :D! John: :D! Clyde: :D, :), :|, :(, D'X John: ? hey man, are you ok? Wtf is going on with you? Clyde: Man, it's not me... :'(... It's you... It's your... Your... John: My what? Clyde: YOUR FACE!!!! D'X

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How do you stop your golf ball from hitting a goose? You dont.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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