What is the difference between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney? One is President, the other is not.

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Wha....You probably shouldnt read the rest of this because i lie a lot (This joke deserves lots of thumbs and comments!)

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matt is fat

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What's black and is hanging from a tree in my backyard? Avocados.

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I like food. But what's more than that it is necessary for survival. ASIAN!!!!

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: What would George Washinton do if he was alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Why didn't my marriage work out? Because I married a tangerine.

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An indian boy asked his Dad,'Why do we have such long names?' His father didn't reply, he died on the road home.

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whats up with that? i'm from jersy

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Guess what Timmy got for Christmas, Nothing, Timmy has no parents, he's an orphan.

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Why didn't john go to school? He has terminal cancer and he must stay at hospital

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wioFUrwny1c

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon... Michael Jackson has sex with little boys.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Well it depends how many of them can figure out the staircase.

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how fast does it take to kill a blonde? Give me a gun and i will find out

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What happens when you drive down the road? you get to the end of the road

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Why did the Chinese family eat a dog? Because they were poor and starving refugees.

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A man walks into a bar, gets caught in a knife fight, and dies horribly. The funeral was closed casket.

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Q: How do you fit 30 Jews in one car? A: Two in the front, two in the back, and the rest in the ash tray.

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Why didn't the young child commiserate the death of his grandparents after they were simultaneously crippled by a tremendous avalanche whilst skiing? He didn't exist.

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a older brother and a lil brother have bunk beds, one night the older brother has his gf sneak over, they are going to have sex. he tells his gf, "say lettace for a new positon and say tomato for stop", they start and she screams, "lettace, tomato, lettace, tomato". then the lil brother says " will you guys stop making salad, ur getting mayonase all over my face!!!!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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