roses are red,violets,are green who tf shit in the toilet?

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Why did the guy jump out of the plane? he was parachuting

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"I'm so hungry!" "Hello so hungry, I am Matt. You must come from a very odd family if your name is " so hungry"!

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How many pancakes does it take to lift up a dog house? Silly goose, alligators can't fly!

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Kid: My dad's brother has gone at it with a lot of women. Friend(sarcastically): Geez that's great! When was he born? Kid: '69

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was very scary.

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Snape dies. ^ Spoiler Alert tarelona major

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What does karissas vagina taste like? Ask vantwon

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A man and his dog walk into the park, the man grabs a ball and chucks it for the dog. The dog can not chase after the ball because he has no legs and bites his owners leg.

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how did the black guy get into school? he walked thru the front door.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

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Whats worse than a dog biting you? Cancer.

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Whats the difference between a house and a truck? Ones a truck the other one is a house

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't so much cross the road as he did go down the road, to the supermarket, where he was sold to a family of 5, and taken down yet another road to the family's house, where they enjoyed a nice family dinner.

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what is black and looks like a rasberry a blackberry

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why do black people have dark skin? because they were born that way

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What's wet and pink and fun to watch in someone's face? A big bubble gum bubble exploding into someone's face.

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A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

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How many dead rats can you put in your ex-girlfriend's bed? 437.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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vitamin c

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How do you make a blonde fall off of a cliff? You push her off of the cliff.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops