Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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911 jokes are just plane wrong

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Yo mama so stupid she was trying to put her M&M's in alphabetical order

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Why did the blond fall down? She died.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead."

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That awkward moment when you have to tell your child you wanted an abortion, and still wish you had.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge. Why did Sally fall off her bike? She was hit by a falling monkey and fridge.

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Q) What is the difference between an elephant and a toaster? A) Do you seriously not know the difference between an elephant... and a toaster?

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Why was the little boy inside the house instead of playing with his friends outside? His dad just died from cancer.

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Why was 7 afraid of 6, because 6 raped 5

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Why does Suzie like to wear sunglasses? Because she's blind.

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What happened to the boy after his life saving surgery? He died of an unrelated disease.

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I popped my head over my sexy neighbour's fence today to see her lying in her bikini. "Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR." "Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?" "No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Doctor" "Interrupting Doc-" "You have Cancer'

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens have no sense of direction, he might have thought he was in wal-mart for all I care.

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Why did lisa fall of her bike? Because her dad threw a refrigerator at her. -JCB

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What did the black man say before he went to sleep? im going to sleep

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in every apple.

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A young boy asks his father if there will be cake at the party. The father tells him there won't be and tells him to f*ck off.

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why did the teacher say that the student did well in class? because the student did well in class

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A man walks into a bar not a duck though

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops