Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged and the final couple was newlywed. Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that, it was no problem. The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint. "Can of PAINT!" exclaimed the minister. "Yeah," said the newlywed man. "She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lust took over." The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church. "That's okay," said the man. "We're not welcome in Home Depot either."

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Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

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My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

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If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

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Why did the Asian eat rice? Because its food

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A victim of animal cruelty.

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An obese man walked into McDonalds and ordered 6 Big Macs. He proceeded to walk to a booth in the back corner and eat them all. Turns out he was white.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because animals walking across a paved street is a very common occurrence ever since the industrialization of the modern world.

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Why did the imagrint cross the road? Cuz he stole the chickin's job.

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What was the strangest part about meeting a girl called Suzie? She had arms.

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Why did the man fall off the cliff? I don't know, I have mental AIDS.

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OOOOPPS /

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What do you call 100 Americans at the bottom of the ocean? A US submarine crew.

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What did the faggot say? Nothing, he shot himself due to high school bullying and rejecting parents.

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Which is better; having a billion dollars or a trillion dollars? Trick Question, you aren't that rich.

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A White guy, Asian guy, and Black guy walk into a bar, and the Black guy wins the joke, as to not be racist.

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Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

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Basically copying you.

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When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a short term memory Roses are red

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A blonde just got a call from her boyfriend. He said i'll meet you at your house, so the blonde drove home, excited. Once the blonde got home her boyfriend was having sex with another girl. The blonde burst into tears and pulled out her gun then stuck it to her head. " No dont do it!" her boyfriend said!...... the blonde, not knowing what to do next said, " Shut up you cheater you're next!"

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yes i can connor, this is brett.

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What do you call a penguin that hangs around in playgrounds? A paedophile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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