Why did the teacher get mad at the student? Because he ran over him with a car.

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What do astronauts and Wayne Rooney have in common? I don't know. Ok.

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Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

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What do you call a giraffe without a neck? Dead.

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how come jenny could not fall asleep? their was a man standing outside her window holding a knife

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In Soviet Russia, people commonly suffered under the might of the communist juggernaut. It was unpleasant.

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What do you call a guy with alot of money? A rich guy.

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You are driving a canoe home when the wheels suddenly fall off. How many pancakes does it take to fill a doghouse?

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What do humans and fish both have in common? They both live underwater, apart from humans.

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Why was Timmy strong? Because his dad injected steroids through his asshole.

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someone tell england that a depressed guy smoking a cigarette is not a movie.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor. wheres my tractor

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What Do you say to an atheist after he sneezes? Bless you. Its just polite

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Parents are very similar to trees. They fall over when hit repeatedly with an ax.

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What do you call a man who has lost both his legs, one arm, and half his eye? Larry

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The word "Walter" is never funny.

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What's the first thing that goes through a persons mind when they get shot in the head. The bullet.

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When life gives you a pack of Kools, make Kool-Aid.

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So there was once this cool little dude that had a purple nose. People would walk by on the streets and say, "Hey! That's a cool nose!" Purple nose man appreciated that they didn't pretend it wasn't there, and instead celebrated the diversity. The next day, he was scalped.

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A man says to his doctor, "doctor, doctor, I think I have a split personality." The doctor responds, "That makes 4 of us."

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why did the chicken cross the road? there was chicken food on the other side

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Why did the chicken cross the road? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU CARE? LET THE POOR CHICKEN IN PEACE! No, seriously he was going to his mother's funeral.

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What do you call a man that's very angry? A Very Angry Man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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