Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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A bear walks into a bar. Animal control was contacted and the bar was evacuated.

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What did the faggot say? Nothing, he shot himself due to high school bullying and rejecting parents.

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What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

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Q: Why was the man wet? A: I push him in a pool.

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When you try to go to anti-joke.com but get redirected to Horsehead Network...

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A deaf man is listening to the radio. Think about it.

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Q: why was the man punched in the face? A: I did like him.

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Why does Miley Cyrus make sex tapes It's the only acting job she can get

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how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? open the door and put him in.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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What's the difference between tiger woods and Santa clause? Tiger woods is a thug

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Life is like a bucket of wood shavings. Except when they're in a pail. Then it's like a pail of wood shavings.

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what did the homeless man get for christmas hyperthermia

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man: why did the chicken cross the road? other man: why ? man: i don't know, ask him your self. other man: ...

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squash squash who squash my ass

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A. Knock Knock. B. Who's there? A. Orange. B. Orange who? A. Orange you glad your retarded because you think oranges can talk?

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Roses are red Violets are blue This font is black You smell like shit

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How many dead babies does it take to fill up a car? Dead babies should be reported to the police and not be stuffed into cars.

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Why couldn't the black baby swim? Babies do not posses the muscular capacity nor technique to enable them to properly swim.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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