B==========D-------------------------- im pissin man! god!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A horse walks into a bar and orders a double whiskey. The bar man says "what's with the long face"? The horse replies "My wife left me, took the kids with her, took everything, I'm devastated"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than an ice cream cone falling over? The Holocaust. What's worse than that? Two ice cream cones falling over.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's grey and can't swim? A Castle

thumb_up thumb_down -10

An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A black guy and a mexican guy are falling from a building. Which one hits the ground first? Who cares

thumb_up thumb_down -10

a guy walks into the bedroom with a duck in his arms, his wife is in bed half nakid. he then coments out loud this is the pig im f**king. his wife says huny your holding a duck. then he with a serious look on his face says im sory i wasent talking to you

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are also red, "Honey, please call the fire department!"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A: Knock Knock! B: RING THE DOORBELL YA DUMMY

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the woman spray a black man in the eyes with pepper spray, then promptly run away? Because the woman was a notorious criminal and was currently robbing the man's house, but was caught in the act so she used pepper spray as her last line of defense while she fled from the scene before the man could call the police to detain her and put her in prison for her crimes.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If you are reading this you are a nerd

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the octopus say to the lion? Nothing, because the likely hood of a lion and an octopus meeting is incredibly slim, as an octopus is a sea creature, and a lion isn't. A lion and an octopus cant even communicate with each other anyway, so even if they did come across each other they wouldn’t be able to talk. Octopi are also anti-social creatures by nature so I can say with some confidence that the lion and the octopus will not have a convocation. Written By JAMES!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happened when the blackman saw the white man. they both said hello

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between a guy who sees the glass half empty and a guy who sees the glass half full? The first guy is happier because his tables tip more than the second guy's.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock knock Who's there? Tom Tom who? Tom Rodgers I don't know you Tom decides to leave the house because the person in the house does not recognize him

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock Knock Who's there Me Me who ME LET ME IN

thumb_up thumb_down -12

When life gives you lemons....you probably just FOUND lemons...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why dont polar bears eat peguins? Because they live on opposite ends of the earth and it would be physically imposible!!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what is more funny than watching a baby fly in a circle at 100 mph stopping it with a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how many dead babies can fit in a microwave? 3 1/2

thumb_up thumb_down -12

If she's old enough to count, she's probably in second grade.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I hear Lebron has a new phone. He has it on silent all the time. It's because he doesn't want to disturb anyone around him while they prepare for important games in which he will be an indispensable part of, especially during the 4th quarters of the NBA Finals.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Aye I heard somethin about yo mom WAT!!!!!!!!! She a bop

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops