Dani Barton is not that! She is a great girl with a strong heart and feelings. The statement below is a joke, hence why it was published on AntiJokes. This is NOT a joke however.

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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What do you call a horse that likes to box? A horse

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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What's worse than being shot? Being shot twice.

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What do you call a clock that neither ticks nor tocks? A broken clock

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Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

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Man: Doctor, everything I touch hurts. Doctor: Okay. Let's test it out by first touching your leg. Man: It hurts. Doctor: What about your arm? Man: It hurts as much. Doctor: What about your back? Man: It still hurts. Doctor: I see......your fingers are broken.

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Ey hornboy give es a SCAB

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willam dafoe

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Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

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TWO ROADS DIVERGED IN A WOOD

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit on the way there.

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Where was the declaration of independes? At the bottom

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A man walks into a dairy. Most people will not get this as it is cultural slang and they will think it is referring to dairy products.Oh well. This was going to be a good joke.

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What's black, white and red all over? Half a penguin.

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Two nerds walk into a bar. The effects of alcohol do not discriminate based upon the social status of said consumer.

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Woof.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a cactus and a platypus? A: I was wondering the same thing.

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I may be ugly, but I'm also dumb.

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Why some people don't get the flu twice? Because they died!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens have no sense of direction, he might have thought he was in wal-mart for all I care.

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Roses are red, But ravens are black, Please go to China, and never come back!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A little boy who can't reach the doorbell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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