What does an Irishman say to you in the morning? Nothing because you only speak French.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the Mexican mow his neighbors lawn? Because the Mexican was 12 years old and his neighbor was paying him $20 to mow the lawn.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats bigger than a tuba? the universe.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why can't John hear what Muhammad says? John is deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Man walks into a bar, Has a few drinks and goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Gary: Hey Bill, wanna hear a joke? Bill: Yes Gary: Okay.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What were Benjamin Franklin's first words after he died? It's been 225 years and we still don't know yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why couldn't the blonde get pregnant? Because she was dead, and her reproductive organs had stopped functioning.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What does a vegetarian eat? colored penis

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why was the clown sad? died of cancer and left his loving family to fend for themselves in this cruel, cruel world.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a cow and a cow? Nothing, they are both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill called the paramedics

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Two guys walk into a bar. This is really exciting as they haven't seen each other for two years and are looking forward to catching up.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Two muffins are in an oven. And by muffins I mean jews. They both die a horrible death.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

WHYS S AFRAID OF B CAUSE OF SBB

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? If you look closely, it's not a chicken, it's a man wearing a costume. He's going to a halloween party with some friends. Sally was not invited.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you kill a blonde? There are a variety of methods, but I prefer a fine mix of insecure clowns and pepto-bismol.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you want to be when you grow up? I want to be a .... The boy didn't finish his sentence because he got hit by a fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Why does the chicken cross the road? A: To get hit by a redneck.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops