Roses are red Violets are blue Your dog pooped on my lawn Now my violets are even more blue

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Your mama is so stupid she has an IQ lower than an average person.

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Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

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there was once a jew

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

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When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

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Killing your friend as a joke.

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A man walks into a bar and approaches a man "Ask me if I'm a tree." "Fine.Are you a tree?" "No."

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roses are red violets are blue some poems are good and some don't

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Knock knock, who's there? Your mom! Oh I'm comming.

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Q: What's worse than getting a divorce? A: I don't know, i'm still married.

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

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What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

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Why was the family sad? Their house burnt down.

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What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Black People

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Roses are red So are you Cause you killed my dreams So I killed you

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How come Dorothy couldn't feel her legs? The metal cable snapped.

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Why is it bad to smoke in a public place? Because secondhand smoke may cause lung cancer.

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What is fat and white? A polar bear with a glandular problem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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