How many rich men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, to hire an electrician to do it for him.

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You know what's interesting about Polish people? Nothing.

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A horse walks into a bar and asks the bartender "why the long face?" The bartender replies "this is the fourth time this week a horse walked into my bar and every time it happened i have to clean up a bunch of horse pooh!"

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The woman says : OMG I am so hung over!! The man next to her has Terrible tourertts turns around and shouts I want my to make them hung over your face, her then moves away and rapes a apple of which he is eating, the woman turns around and dies as she has a brain tumor

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You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

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roses are red violets are blue .no one cares about you, your a jew.

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How do you kill a jew? In a variety of destructive manners that are illegal and I would hope you would decide against.

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Mr Whelk visited his doctor. His doctor put on a sterile glove and inserted two fingers into the man's rectum. "Does this feel all right?" The doctor asked "Yes" replied Mr Whelk. "But is my wrist broken or not?

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216-409-7176 Call me.

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why was the man scared of the tree because it was shady

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What did the zombie say to the woman? I like turtles.

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Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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What's Green and has four wheels? A green car

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Why did the car fall of the cliff? The dude driving the car was driving recklessly.

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why did everyone laugh at the kid in the wheel chair as he entered the room? he was poor

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Rebecca Black's career.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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What did the doctor say to the lawyer? Nothing. They weren't even together. He was in the hospital saving people and the lawyer was in his office working on a case.

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Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

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What do you call a man with cheese on his face? His name is David.

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youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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What do you do when you find a black man rolling around on the ground? Stop laughing and reload.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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