I told my grandmother to act her age.... she then died

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Q: What did bulbasoar say to charmander? A: Bet ya thought I was gunna say Bulbasoar!!

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Statistics show That people with the most birthdays Live the longest

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There were two men 1 says "hey stupid" and the other man says "Yeah"

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What did the strawberry say to the grape? Nothing, inanimate objects can't use verbal communication.

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Dear Rubix Cube, DONE!! Sincerely, Colorblind

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What did the Icelandic man say to the Norwegian man? Vishtok yerder poten hash vil narsh varden.

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what do you call a dead man rolling down a hill on fire, being shot in the head, and strapped to a bomb Dead

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

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A month after the nuclear bombing of Hiroshima, a typhoon hit the city killing another 2,000 people.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet,

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A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

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what's white and bumpy? Milk. But it's not bumpy.

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A blind child sign is at the end of my street. I have never seen the child, but at least if he were to come outside at the right time period i might be able to spot him, whereas he would having no way of returning the gesture.

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This is not a joke

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory Because she repeatedly wrote Ws

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If you have read this its to late. You have already read this. Im am very sorry.

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I wrote a joke for 'Anti-Joke', I laughed, it was funny.

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Friends are like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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A monkey walks into a bar. Monkeys are always funny.

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Some of the people on this site who write these "jokes" are complete morons. Many of them believe that racism, sexism, and spamming is hilarious. Each one of them is a ****ing dumbass and needs to be removed from this site. Racism is not funny, people are murdered because of it! Those who think that they are being funny by insulting others need to get a life and stop ruining this site for others who want to read good jokes free of racism. Africans, Hispanics, Jews, and everyone else deserves better than to be insulted like this. And I'm a white, so take that you racist whores! I apologize for those of you who have good humor that have to read this, but those other jerks need to be told off.

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Why does history repeat itself? Because no one listened to it the first time.

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Uh no, yogurt as in the bacteria that they add to milk in order to make the finished product yogurt. You see, while the effect is seen in twins (for example if one twin gets raped, the other gets a fucking sore ass) Sorry, I am still under trance here myself, you get out of it, I am gonna have some fun, go splash some water on your face. I mean people go like "woah that is impossible it only happens in rare cases and so on right?" Fun stuff: Yogurt, you can seal yogurt in a steel container miles away after separating its culture (basically having a colony living together and then moving them away from each other as in 30000 kilometers and sealing them in soundproof safe`s and whatnot. Feed one half of the yogurt, and the other one far far away begins munching into thin air, now keep the food close to the yogurt, and the bacteria will begin "begging for it" (as in when baby chicks notice the parent has arrived with food), and so will the culture of yogurt sealed in a safe 30000 miles away. Why? Living in similar states, brings a natural connection, we are attracted to similarities, and as far as the human knowledge of the LAW of attraction goes, distance is not a factor, look it up, or just believe me.

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Why did the gay guy come out of the closet? He finally found the shirt he was looking for

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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