your dad called night and told me your grandpa died.

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What's purple and tastes like grapes? Grapes

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What do you get when you mix a dog and a fish? A hot fillet.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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What did the snowman say when winter was ending? -Nothing you dumbass

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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What's worse than find ten babies in a trash can? Find a baby in ten trash cans.

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what did the judgmental teacher say to a challenged student? your stupid

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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A gay man kisses a gay man and therefore is considered gay.

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Why was the tree sad? Trees cannot think or move, and thus cannot feel emotions.

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A child rides his bike down the sidewalk and stops at an intersection. He looks both ways, then crosses the road. What was he looking for? His family.

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You want to know how I got these scars? A horrible knife throwing accident.

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Why can't Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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What's green, [ THIS BIG ] and flies around the room... A remote controlled gherkin!

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Screwing in a lightbulb is a simple, menial task, and the fact that the man was a Jew is irrelevant.

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Why is my grandpa always so grumpy? Because he has diabetes and life is very difficult for him.

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A man and his friend are talking. The man says, "You know what's funny? Sometimes you mean to say one thing and you say a completely different thing. Like the other day I wanted to buy a ticket to pittsburgh, but the lady I was buying it from had very large breasts, so I accidentally said 'Can I have a picket to titsburgh?'" And the other guy says, "Yeah, man, it's really funny you say that, the other day I meant to ask my wife to pass the salt, and I said 'you whore, you ruined my life'"

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What do you call a fat black guy in KFC? A guy who likes KFC.

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A blind, black guy walks into a building. Unfortunately it was a secret KKK building and they beat him, raped him and left him to die. Luckily he was found alive and transported to the hospital. To bad the hospital was bombed by Al Queda.

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Why couldent the boy pick up the bunny? He had severe muscular distrophy, and couldent even lift a spoon to his mouth. let alone a bunny

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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