What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An extremely talented reptile.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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A chinchilla and an octopus walk into a bar. What do they say? The octopus says Hello but the chinchilla says nothing because chinchillas cannot talk.

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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Lol (wow, I am using that a lot... BAAAD!) Anyway, yeaaaah, you thanked me for being who I am, this rush of happy drugs from the body is totally a sign of taking insult... Funny, I am not much of a endorphin person otherwise.

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What made Chuck Norris cry? Stubbing his toe

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Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

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What will ur wife say when she finds you in bed with a hore-s.

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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Wat do u call a priests shit Holy shit

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A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven had a huge ass mole

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't. Her head was stuck in the oven.

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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Why was the little kid bullied? Because kids are goats.

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Two little boys are talking to each other: - My dad's dick is soo biig! - Eh, my dad's dick is small but it still hurts...

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i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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What did the hammer say to the screwdriver? You're a tool

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What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

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Knock knock Shut up

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What did the mother say when her sons asked for a can of pop? No you have diabetes.

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whats black and hangs from my tree a plum

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops