You tie a noose around your neck, you jump off a cliff and before you hit the ground you shoot yourself in the head.

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Japan is Weird We aren’t saying Japanese people are weird but it’s a fact that the strangest pictures floating around the internet are from Japan.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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When Chuck Norris dives into a pool... he gets wet due to the aqueous nature of the water

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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why did the baby fall out of the crib? it was dead

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What are the two words that once you hear, You will feel a sudden gush of euphoria followed by immense depression? The Game

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Chuck Norris and Bane recently had a fight on a bet. The result was Bane won easily as he is the much bigger and stronger man, and Chuck Norris lacks the skills he once possessed as a younger man as he is now 72 years old.

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One of them says, "Man, it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin replies, "Yep." They later die a horrid and painful death as their flesh gets burned into a nice golden brown crisp.

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What did Dave tell me on Tuesday? "It's Wednesday, dumbass."

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Why did the semen cross the road? Because i put on the wrong socks this morning

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What's more fun then spinning a dead baby around on a clothesline at 50 miles an hour? Stopping it with a shovel.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? That depends on what his name is.

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what does the sloth say to Jonah reincastle? nothing Jonah is the sloth

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A man had sex with his secretary. She was his wife.

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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What's green, [ THIS BIG ] and flies around the room... A remote controlled gherkin!

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"Do you know the joke No me neither?" "No..." "Me neither..."

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock (who's there?) Not Sally.

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Why did the black woman have an affair? Because she had an unsatisfying sex life, her old husband was boring, and she was curious about being with other men.

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There is a man laying on the floor in a pool of blood and vomit, there is a broken beer bottle in a puddle of beer next to him. He thinks is a sponge.Purple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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