What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems i like your boobs

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nick Oh hi Nick come in

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have condoms, But we didn't use them with you. You were DP'd, Now you have STD.

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roses are red, violets are blue, niggers are black and so is my poo

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Where's the best place to gather black people to roleplay as prison victims for a documentary? Prison or the Graveyard.

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A frog walks into a bar and the bartender thinks he is very well evolved because frogs don't walk they hop

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? I can cook a pizza.

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Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Just me

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Q: Why did the kid drop his icecream cone? A: Because he couldn't hold it he lost his arms in a car accident.

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Your mother is so fat she has trouble finding clothes in her size.

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Why was the math book crying? Three men just brutally raped his wife.

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I agree Nero, we agree there, but let me ask you, why did you have the deep desire to create such a society before? You managed to do so as a teen, you wanted to help others, you put them before yourself, you where far more loyal to them, than they ever where to you. What motivated you then to sacrifice so much, where is that strength today?

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Yo mums so fat she went on a diet.

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Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

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The kid wakes up in the middle of the night to get some water. But over hears sounds from his parents room. he looks through the keyhole. Then he comtinues walking and says. "Why does mom say i cant suck things?"

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A man with a mustache enters your parents home to tell them you were kidnapped and taken to the pier 1 hour away. They leave and he goes upstairs to rape you for 1 hour. Never trust people with mustaches.

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Three men walk into a bar. Something happens not at relating to them.

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Q: why did the boy fall down when he was walking home? A: he was murdered.

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What did the deaf guy get for Christmas? An iTunes gift card

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what is the difference between a a person and a book? people can walk

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If 1+1=2, then you must have passed first grade arithmetic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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