Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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What did Jesus Christ say to John the Baptist? Nothing. He didn't exist.

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Your moms so old. She might die soon

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I was watching this movie..... its over now.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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A priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi sit next to each other on a plane they say nothing to each other during the flight and reach their destinations safely.

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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Knock knock Shut up

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Why was the little kid bullied? Because kids are goats.

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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Dollar ice tea... I drink that Supa hot fire... i spit that Two and a half men................... I watch that

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven had a huge ass mole

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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whats black and hangs from my tree a plum

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What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

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Lol (wow, I am using that a lot... BAAAD!) Anyway, yeaaaah, you thanked me for being who I am, this rush of happy drugs from the body is totally a sign of taking insult... Funny, I am not much of a endorphin person otherwise.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't. Her head was stuck in the oven.

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Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

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i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

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Wat do u call a priests shit Holy shit

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A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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