What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? How would she know? shes blind, deaf and mute; and incapable of knowing what she received.

how many babies does it take to fill up a blender? None. they all died before being put in a blender.

How is a fat girl like a tiny motorcycle? She isn't, and you should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking how she might be.

Why did the black man go to KFC? Ever since the economic downfall Kentucky Fried Chicken is the only remaining food dispensary in a 5 miles radius.......and hes black

What's 1+1? 69.

Whats the difference between Rolf Harris and a pedophile Whoops I didn't quite think this one through

What do you call a black man who is great at basketball? An all-star

German bedtime story: There once was a boy who liked to suck his thumbs. His mother told him to stop, but he wouldn't. So she cut of his thumbs. Now he has none. Goodnight.

What do you call an black man on the moon. An astronaut you racist bastard

Why did Jimmy's mom cry? She got stabbed in the arm and was suffering while bleeding to death.

Grandma got ran over by a reindeer. She died

boner

A baby seal walks into a bar... The bartender looks at it and says: too young.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. The chicken was run over by a truck before he could get to the other side

What do you give a man who has everything? Syphilis

Waseem is such a hard worker on Anti Joke all day.

What do you call a sausage with no sauce? A giraffe.

A horse shits himself SHITLESS!

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

Did you hear about the Polish couple taking selfies while on vacation in Portugal? They fell off a cliff and died in front of their children. True story.

What happened to the white man who beat up the black man? He was arrested for assault and battery. What happened to the black man who beat up the white man? He was also arrested for assault and battery. Their races have no superiority to the law.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...