Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

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What did the white person say to the black person? Nothing because he was black

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Two Cows are knitting soda water in a lightbulb. One of them said: Talking about milk, what time is it? The other pulls out a thermometer, looked at it and said: Wednesday.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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Roses are black violets are black I can't hear anything I'm Helen Keller .

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A bear walks into a bar..... The bartender asks " what do you want?" , he gets killed by the bear because he started talking to it Made by eli

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What do you get when a man farts then a giraffe digests the gas and then poops into the mouth of a rabid baby raccoon? A raisin coated in corn flakes with digestive fluid sauce.

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its neck.

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What's worse than breaking your neck on a trampoline? Getting in a car crash on the way to the hospital.

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I have a friend named Jay . But for short , he likes to be called J .

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Dubstep = a computer with a noisy virus.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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If 1+1=2 why does 2+2 not equal 3?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Harry Styles! - Louis

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A teenager walked into a bar. A drunk man got angry and beat him to death with a club.

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What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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:)Knock, Knock :(Who's there? :)Barbie :(Barbie who? :)Barbieq

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating in mid air? Drop It Niggher!

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A priest was walking home from church one day when he found a young boy crouching naked in the bushes. The priest contacted local law enforcement authorities on his cell phone and proceeded home once they arrived.

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Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth she has lacked a jaw

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If Chuck Norris was really so awesome he would come and slam my head into the keyboard.

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Give one reason for not visiting a hotel. Basil Fawlty is the manager.

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a black man walked into a black bar. what color was the bar afterwards? the same color. its a drinking spot not a pole

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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