Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Why did Greg move to the Lake District? Because his dog died and the family is in mourning.

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Where would Tupac be if he was white? Not the morgue

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why couldnt jimmys feet touch the ground? he was hanging.

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Why did the boy cross the road? He was visiting his dying grandmother at the hospital.

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what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

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A man walks into a bar and then, after a relatively short period of time, walks out of the bar.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, He has died, And now will you,

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Roses are read Vilots are blue, I have a gun, Now get out of my house!!!

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Why couldn't people tell the difference between the two twins? Because they were indentical.

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Why did sarah fall of the swing? she has no arms. Knock knock. whos there? not sarah.

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Sex vagina. lol.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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What goes up a hill with 4 legs and comes down with 3? A horse, which, upon reaching the top of the hill, has one of its legs chopped off, which is when the horse proceeds down the hill.

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Q: What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? A: Ten babies nailed to eleven trees.

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What do you call a purple chicken eating a bicycle? A purple chicken eating a bicycle

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"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Interrupting kid with ADHD" *I did not respond, as I knew he would interrupt me before I was able to finish the sentence.*

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What did the white guy say to the Mexican guy? Nothing he realize that the Mexican guy probably didn't speak English and he couldn't speak Spanish so conversing with this man would have been pointless.

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angelo snyder is not ga

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Ask me what my name is. What's your name. My name is Jeff.

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Why did the hobo get hit by a bus? He wanted to kill himself.

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What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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