What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? Wanted by the police.

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An American man walks to Mc Donalds.

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A woman walked out of the kitchen.

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My friend was driving me home from a party, and was quite drunk. I was relieved that we did not get into a car crash.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.. And IDGAF!

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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How do you stop a bus? throw a boy with an ice cream cone infront of the bus. but...come to think of it, that may not work. he might drop the ice cream on top of it >:l

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what did one sandwich say to another sandwich? nothing, sandwiches cant talk

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? What? I don't have a Corvette in my garage Wanna hear something gross? Sure. 1 at the bottom is still alive. Wanna hear something grosser? Yea. It's eating its way out

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Roses are red Violets are blue Flesh is green When the dead start to rise you're on my team

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your doctor, You've been diagnosed with venereal disease.

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Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

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Q: What happened when lost John lost his crack cocaine? A: He bought some weed.

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Justin Bieber

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was very hungrey and saw some seed on the other side.

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Roses are blue Violets are red Is that really What I just said?

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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Q: how do you stop a baby's crying keeping you up at night A: pull out it's wind pipe

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Guys are like a sax. If no sound comes out, you're probably not blowing hard enough.

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why do jews like weed? A) because they are used to being baked.

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Q: Why couldn't the black man swim? A: Because ever since he was a child, he has never taken swimming lessons before.

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What do you call an Arab guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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If you add two 1's together its 11 if you add two 2's together its 22 If you add two 3's together its 33 So what happens if you add 4 and 4? No you dumb-ass its not 44, its 8

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whats white jizz

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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