happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why was six afraid of seven It wasnt. numbers are not sentient or tangible and thus are incapable of feeling fear

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a Icelandic man? A guy who lives in a snowhouse with a elevator

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A priest, a rabbi and Santa walk into a bar. that's a highly coincidental situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A black man approaches a customer service desk and asks for help. He is racially discriminated and receives no help with his problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did your mum die young because she had canser

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats big orange and likes to eat rocks? a big orange rock eater

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than being a Jew in the Holocaust? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Call of Duty is a good game.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q:What's red and crawls up your leg? A: A homesick abortion

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: How do you keep an idiot in suspense? A:

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference in a big brother and a wee brother? Ones big, ones small.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I haven't had sex for about 2 years, 10 months, 20 days and 4 minutes. It doesn't bother me though.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will cause me to develop a drinking problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did Jimmy do on his 8th birthday? Turn 8.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo mama so poor that she's having trouble making ends meet without government assistance.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the difference between a dead baby and a mustang? I dont have a mustang in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the guy jump out of the plane? he was parachuting

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black And so was six because they were written with black pen

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

MATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops