A blind 1st grader is doing math. He can't figure out a problem so he asks his mom to help, his mom then ask "Why don't you just count by your fingers?" the little boy then said "MOM! I'm blind I can't see!" his mom replys "then how do you see your homework?" the boys replys "I opened my eyes, now help me"

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

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Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

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When does the ice cream get thrown at the yellow horse on thursday evening? Purple Monkey Rainbow

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Why did the tourist cross the road? He was sightseeing.

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What do you call a man who is walking into walls and poles? A blind man who really needs your help.

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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It's the police sir. There's been an accident.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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a kid plays computer games alot and gets carpoltunel in both hands and lives in pain for the rest of his life.

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did you know towels can cause dry skin?

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How do you get 100 midgets into a mini? You have to manufacture a mini big enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It won't be street legal, but at least your problem with fitting the midgets in the mini is solved.

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a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

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how did the fat man get up the stairs he walked

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why did the girl go into the kitcen? she was preparing a meal for her well safisticated family which had not ate dinner yet that day.

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Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

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How many morman minutes does it take to get to school? A lightyear

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A deranged serial killer walks into a bar. No one leaves because he looks like a normal guy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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