knock knock who's there? Police oh shit

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Do you know what God said to Hitler as he approached the gate of heaven? ??????????????????

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Two latino men are drinking at a bar. Suddenly, one man falls off his barstool, unconscious. Later that day, he was diagnosed with pancreatitis, and died never having dealt with his severe alcoholism.

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My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

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What do you get if you mix rice with slightly different flavoured rice? Rice.

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How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of a tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of a tree? It was cruelly stapled to the first one.

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Edward Smith had started telling a long rambling joke when William McMaster Murdoch cut him off with "I don't like where this is headed".

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What's worse than the Holocaust? A Holocaust survivor. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

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What's long hard and full of seamen? A boat, or possibly a submarine.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit a talking Muffin."

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It is better to have loved and lost, Than to have fallen, bleeding, into shark-infested waters.

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Roses are red, my name is Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave

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Does pizza sound good for dinner?

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I don't have ADHD I just- Hey look a squirrel!

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Why did the little girl keep running into things Because she was blind

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Why was the Black man running with a T.V.? Because he had just purchased a new LCD FlatScreen from BestBuy, and a torrential downpour had just began and he didn't have a free hand to hold up his umbrella.

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What do you call a black man that has just gotten out of jail? A former criminal who has served his time in prison and is now trying to redeem himself by becoming a respectable member of his community

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whats worse then having sex with a blonde? having sex with a cactus

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Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

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What is more annoying then finding a worm in your apple you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops