A man walked into his house He saw his wife having an affair with his teenage Gardner

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What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

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Knock Knock Come in! :)

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How High is a Chinese man

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What's more exiting than watching football Escaping through the underground railroad

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A mute man writes a joke that would only be funny to blind people.

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What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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Why did Kristi drop her chap-stick? Kristi was of the many children held in hostage of the Jewish heritage during the times of Hitler's wrath. At the Concentration camps they were not given the opportunity to maintain a healthy, average diet thus decreasing her body strength. No longer could Kristi hold her chap-stick - alas her frail little fingers slowly released the cylinder shaped tube and hopelessly watched it hit the ground. As it hit the ground, a cloud of dust swept over Kristi's body. At the same time Kristi was taking a big whiff of fresh air (just kidding, the air at concentration camps were not fresh - it reeked of acid) she accidentally inhaled the dirt which fled through her body and made her faint. She woke up and it was a dream, lol.

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Why did Obama give a speech? Because he is the president and people look up to him

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

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If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? -Allergies.

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I went to Nebraska and saw a dead squirrel

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Whats fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? Theres twenty of them

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See you later... Just joke I'm blind

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Sara had no arms! Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sara!

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I would tell you a joke but I'm not funny

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What would be the worst thing to do to Helen Keller? Cut her hands off, as it would destroy her last chance at communication and re-arranging her house so she often fell nub first over chairs.

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Do you know what God said to Hitler as he approached the gate of heaven? ??????????????????

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How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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