Nero was my name thousands of years ago, but I believe that those With clearer sight, brighter minds, those you remaining WITHOUT the sense of Complete doom, oh children of the night, know far better, turn to my side, and sheep you shall be no more, together we shall be Whole once again, the sheperd of this New world! Thumb this up if you have seen the signs... Thumb this up if you have seen the sins... ...End up buried under the corpses of everything you knew if you have no vision in this New dawn of ages endlessly darknening, and pretend that the internet will be there, or that the horsehead network ever mattered to you for that matter... :You say insanity today, sunday 27th January 2016, you will be the one running, begging that Our world is but YOUR INSANITY, a nightmare, which only Death will awaken you from

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An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He prefers to bench press.

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knock knock who's there? Police oh shit

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How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

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What do you get if you mix rice with slightly different flavoured rice? Rice.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of a tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of a tree? It was cruelly stapled to the first one.

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My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

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Do you know what God said to Hitler as he approached the gate of heaven? ??????????????????

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Two latino men are drinking at a bar. Suddenly, one man falls off his barstool, unconscious. Later that day, he was diagnosed with pancreatitis, and died never having dealt with his severe alcoholism.

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Yo momma's so poor, she needs to work 2 jobs to support her family.

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Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

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Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

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Why didn't Jesus like Pizza? Because Pizza doesn't exist.

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what do you call an albino brown bear a polar bear

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why did victor have a tube on his neck he was helping james with security

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Poker face

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I'm getting sick of holocaust jokes can't you Nazi Anne Frankly I'm sick of it

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aodhan hearty is a fruit fly

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Why could the red heading boy sing higher notes than the blonde headed boy? He was castrated at birth.

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What's red bubbly and spins around? A baby in a microwave

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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