What do you call a 2 storied house ?

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How do you get a Mexicans attention? By calling him by his name.

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Why couldn't the 11-year old get into the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

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why did the man fall? cuz he jumped from a building

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like cows, Cows are cool

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What's worse then mud on your shoes. Being assassinated by means of a dart to the throat.

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What did the flag say to the pole? It dosnt

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How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

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Dude, that's not banana ice cream...

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What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

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why was Logan sad? he was raped by his daddy multiple times

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I was raped oh no he's coming HELP ahhhhhhhhfkaek.k.k.k.k.k.k. vmruieao3 vxm v

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"Grandpa, How did you know that Grandma was the one?" "When her sister dumbed me."

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Your mother is so fat. We are all extremely concerned for her health.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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What is funnier than one dead baby? Two dead Babies

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a PS3? Michael was a succesful dancer, singer-songwriter, musician, and philanthropist, whereas a PS3 is a games console.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs and died? Because he had a stroke and never got life alert!

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-Why did the man sue the train driver after he witnessed his friends death? -Because he was owed a duty of care.

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Why didn't the Irishman walk into the bar? Beacause he had killed himself the previous night as a result of his alcoholism.

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Knock Knock Who's There Nobody Nobody Who?

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? I lost my tractor!

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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Why did the little girl cry in school? Because she remembered her parents were both in prison. She is in a state run foster academy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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