Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

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Why did Dave stop going to the laundromat? Because he was a suicide bomber.

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Guy: Roses are red, violets are blue, you're beautiful and sexy too. Girl: Roses are red violets are blue, how many girls have you told that to? Guy:... Girl: Exactly.

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What do you call a blue chair A black person

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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The funniest thing about this joke is that by the time you realise it doesn't say anything its to late to stop reading it

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Your momma's so fat that when she looked in the mirror she broke down crying and threw up in the toilet because she is belemic.

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A frog jumped on the lilly pad, it sank and drown and all of the tadpoles didn't have a mother and inevitably died

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Why did the man poop his pants. becuase he had to poop.

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What did the asshole say to his friend behind him? Fart

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What do you do when you say shut up to someone and they say make me? Rip out their vocal cords.

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What did one cat say to another? Cats cant talk

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why didnt little timmy finish his test he was eaten by a muslim rhino... .

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a homeless man walks into a bar, the bartender and patrons treat him nicely, and sympathize for his current situation.

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What did the caveman say to the dinosaurs, nothing dinosaurs are from the Triassic period 25 million years ago, while the origin of man came around 230000 years ago, so there would be a massive time difference and and would never seen each other.

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Why was the black man very rich? Because he was a lawyer who worked hard and was able to provide himself with a steady income.

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Two blonds walk into a building....they couldnt see it.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face" The horse responds "My daughter has cancer"

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Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

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Knock Knock: I have full blown AIDS

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a blond and a brunet jump of a bridge who hits the ground first ....... the brunet because the blond has to ask for directions

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A man is in the desert and he finds a lamp, he rubs the lamp and out comes a genie! The genie says "I can grant your three wishes, for releasing me from the lamp" The man says "I wish I didn't have AIDS".

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How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

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When life gives you ponies... get a new life!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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