Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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Q: Where does Cher sit? A: I have no idea.

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Why did Steven Hawking walk into a bar? He didn't he can't walk

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Two tomatoes are crossing the road. Suddenly one of them gets hit by a car. He goes "AGH!"

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Roses are Red And sometimes yellow My mother is mellow I have terminal cancer. I also fisted my grandpa's anus last night

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So a Jewish Family wakes into a German Pizzeria. They were very satisfied with the service and ended up tipping the waiter 20%

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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What happens when a Jew, a black man, and a Latino walk into the bar? The potential for racial humor.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. He didn't, this joke gets old really fast

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Q what do you do when your friend tells you hes a homosexual A. you tell him that you will accept him and can still be very good friends

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Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

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What do you say if you see a floating TV at night? Wow a floating TV. It's amazing how far technology has progressed throughout the years.

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PENIS :)

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If i knew people where coming i would have trimed my antlers

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I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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Why was the kindergartener crying in the corner? His family was poor and his father abused him.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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Knock knock Whos there? A rapist. Go away I'm calling the police!! (The rapist then proceeds to break open the door, beat the woman repeatedly with a baseball bat, and then rapes her)

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

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Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

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Q. What did the atheist ask the pregnant woman? A. You gonna eat that?

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A man is sitting on a park bench crying. A blonde walks by and asks him why he's sad. The man proceeds to explain he just lost his children in a custody battle with his ex wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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