Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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Type better antijokes above

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A baby walks into a bar and the bartender says.... Where is your mom?

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What do you get when you mix C4 with a lit- KABOOM!!!

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Invention I totally meant invention! XD, now okay, you can have the top comment, ill even read it because I like ya a lot.

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The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action

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Fine, start by proving to me that you can be a reasonable human being, and I will meet you myself, I have too many of those that rely on my guidance and protection in order for me to send myself off to some suicide mission. Say, are you familiar with the Antony Stark method?

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what did the man say when he was reading a book? nothing, if u assume the situation when hes reading to himself.

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Once there was Girl whose Teeth were Crooked. She got Braces.

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No Nero, you see, a great man once told me that happiness is not something you look for and eventually find, but something that you decide that you already are.

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A man is playing pacman, on his last life, and is cornered. He inserts another coin in the slot.

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when life gives you lemons... squeeze the juice into your eyes.

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how may horses can you fit in a blender i can't remember what is red and goes 100KPH a horse in a blender

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This is funny.

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What the corn in the core? The mexican antelope.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why did the man cross the road? His mother had recently passed away after a 12 year battle with lung cancer and is visiting her tombstone.

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Black guy something something. Anti-racist punchline.

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Whats worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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KILL WHITEY

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" Whats the deal with airline food? " -Sharon

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Why didn't the women make her husband a sandwitch? Because she was struck by a car as a young child and was told she could never walk again. Her family couldn't afford a wheelchair so therefore she is bedridden all day.

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what did the man say to his cat? sex. -teagan doherty

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What's the same between a bike and a duck? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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