1+1=2

whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? 5 dead monkeys.

there once was a teacher who wouldnt shut up she just rambled and rambled and rambled ,untill one day i brang a gun to school and shot her ,she doesnt rambled anymore and i dont go to school anymore =win for everyone

How do you make Samuel L. Jackson cry? Trick question...Samuel L. Jackson don't cry. ever...

walk into your friend’s house and say “what’s up with the dead guy out front?” (you have to murder a person for this joke to work)

There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

Kinky = using a feather Perverted = using the whole chicken Weird = using chicken bones Downright disgusting = all of the above, plus a cat

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a pineapple is not a proper home

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? I don't know, he couldn't open the presents.

Last christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, you're body rejected the transplant and you died.

Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

What do you do when you walk downstairs and see your TV floating? Call Ghostbusters.

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

You know what is totally sick? A person with stage II cancer.

aodhan hearty

a man reads his wife a poem "roses are red, violets are blue, and I love you." the wife talks to her brother asking why he changed the poem he said men do that cause they love you. later that night she got pregnant.

Whats funnier than a dead baby? Pretty much anything.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one. It should only take one person to demonstrate such a simple task, regardless of their hair color.

Whats worse than a dog biting you? Cancer.

Why do black people like fried chicken? Because it's delicous.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't so much cross the road as he did go down the road, to the supermarket, where he was sold to a family of 5, and taken down yet another road to the family's house, where they enjoyed a nice family dinner.

There are 2 muffins in an oven One of the muffins says to the other 'Jeez it's hot in here' Then the other muffin replied, 'OH MY GOD IT'S A FRICKEN TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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