What did santa claus get the boy with cancer for christmas? Nothing. Santa is not real and thus incapable of granting christmas wishes.

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What did the cover say when it fell off the bed? Oh sheet!

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Why did the man fall of the cliff? A: Because someone pushed him.

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So my teacher came upto me, and says "At the end of this ruler is a idiot" so I said "Which end?" I got detention.

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Face down, ass up. Thats the way I like to sleep

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

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What did the deaf-blind kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Q. How many blonds do you know? A. I don't know any blonds, but are you perhaps talking about blondes? Because if so, I still don't know any.

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there once was a man from Nantucket. I want to ride in a helicopter.

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Did you hear about the Dislexic Devil worshipers? They sold their soul to Santa.

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WHAT DO YOU CALL SOMEONE HAVING A MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION? Dead

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Why were there bones on the moon? The cow diden't make it.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? 0. There are no lights at Auschwitz.

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Is Charlie Sheen bi-polar? Yes.

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What do you do if your batteries die and you have none left? Go to your nearest battery selling retail store and buy some more.

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What did Newton say to Einstein? Nothing, Newton was dead before Einstein's birth.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A rather unfortunate physical disability

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Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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ProX hacker JazZ Has aids hahahaha

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Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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A black man walks into a bar He looks at the menu and realizes he's in a bar, so he leaves

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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