What did the dead guy say to the other guy? "You murdered me." How did he hear the dead guy? He was dead too.

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if you have 2 apples and 3 oranges in one hand, and 4 oranges and 1 apple in the other, what do you have? very large hands.

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There was a black person running down my street. He was celebrating because he just graduated from Harvard University.

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A donkey looks at a goat. The goat walks away.

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What's worse then the holocaust? Stepping on a lego.

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That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you thought it gay unicorn

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People...

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What happened to the orphan when it walked to the park? He found his birth parents........but then they were killed by a crazy hobo and he was taken away and molested

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The priest leaves because they don't have wine.

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What's the difference between Jews and Germans? Jews are allowed to have an opinion about the Holocaust and hoot and holler and threaten anyone who has a different opinion than they. The sad, anti-joke part of this is that most morons will actually support this tyrannical bullying behavior. Also, special taxes against Germans that they're not allowed to have a problem with. I guess slavery is okay if you're White.

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What happens when you get your leg caught in an elevator door? Nothing. It is likely that the elevator has advanced sensory components that won't allow the door to close on your leg.

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What did the Jewish kid get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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What do a woman and a puzzle have in common? Both couldn't vote before 1920... the puzzles still can't vote

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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What dod the boy with no arms get or christmas? Nothing he can't open them!

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What do humans and fish both have in common? They both live underwater, apart from humans.

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, it is impossible for something to be red all over if there is black and white also.

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A Jew, a black guy, and a redneck are walking down the street because their car broke down a few miles back.

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Who do you call when there is a ghost in your house? You should problably call the doctor, you may be hallucinating.

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What's worse than dividing by zero? Chuck Norris dividing your face!

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What did the whale do when he was angry? He beached himself, causing a major ecological disaster and costing the beach community thousands of dollars to return him to the water.

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What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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What do you call a black guy that steals a car? A father desperate to save his dying son who doesn't have a car to drive to a hospital

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Y the girl tuch her butt she tried To get dookie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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