Guy: Roses are red, violets are blue, you're beautiful and sexy too. Girl: Roses are red violets are blue, how many girls have you told that to? Guy:... Girl: Exactly.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Dave stop going to the laundromat? Because he was a suicide bomber.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because he recently found out that his parents died in a tragic car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

2 people lived next door to each other. The man said "hi" and so did the other man. What is wrong with this situation. Nothing, just friendly neighbors.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what did the judgmental teacher say to a challenged student? your stupid

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happens if you fell off a 600 foot cliff? You die.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

3 men are walking down a dirt path. One is a retired member of the US Air Force. The other of the Marines. The last one of the Navy. They are arguing about why their respective section of the military is the best. They lose track of where they're going and fall off of a cliff onto the spinning propeller of a US Coast Guard helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why didnt little timmy finish his test he was eaten by a muslim rhino... .

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the man poop his pants. becuase he had to poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

a homeless man walks into a bar, the bartender and patrons treat him nicely, and sympathize for his current situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

1 out of 4 questions. How do you get a girrafe in a fridge? Open it, put the girrafe in, and close it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you do when a red gorilla comes running at you with 7 dominoes in his hand Ask him to stop

thumb_up thumb_down -12

a blond and a brunet jump of a bridge who hits the ground first ....... the brunet because the blond has to ask for directions

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man is in the desert and he finds a lamp, he rubs the lamp and out comes a genie! The genie says "I can grant your three wishes, for releasing me from the lamp" The man says "I wish I didn't have AIDS".

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your momma's so fat that when she looked in the mirror she broke down crying and threw up in the toilet because she is belemic.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was the black man very rich? Because he was a lawyer who worked hard and was able to provide himself with a steady income.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you do when you say shut up to someone and they say make me? Rip out their vocal cords.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the caveman say to the dinosaurs, nothing dinosaurs are from the Triassic period 25 million years ago, while the origin of man came around 230000 years ago, so there would be a massive time difference and and would never seen each other.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Guess What!? What?! GIGGITY GIGGITY GOOOOOOOOO!!!!! (ALL RIGHT) OH.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops