Knock knock. Man: Who's there? Hooker: The hooker you called for. Man: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. Wife: Honey, who is it? Man: The hooker I called for, but you haven't left yet. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A rabbi and a priest walk into a supermarket... They buy food, put in their cars, drive home and cook dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

"Do you know the joke No me neither?" "No..." "Me neither..."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

List of people I love: Hitler Stalin Mussolini Ted Bundy Charles Manson Hannibal Lecter Vladamir Putin Satan Justin Beiber One Direction Chris Brown Chris Brown's parents Oh, and my mother. I love my mother, too.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one does, too.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why'd the clown fall out of the tree? it died. Why'd the cat fall out of the tree? it died Why'd the chicken fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the clown

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's Arabs' cutlery? Bread

thumb_up thumb_down -1

So an irish man walks into a bar, 10 seconds later he is dead. What happened was there was a sharp piece of metal on the bar so is cut his throat and he bleed to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender calls animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two muffins are sitting on a counter. One muffin says to the other "hello." The other muffin says "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two guys walk into a bar, have a good time, and exit the bar, relatively sober. They are driven home by a friend who agreed to be the designated drive for safety purposes and enjoy the rest of the evening with their wives, to whom they are happily married. Then the joke ends abruptly.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What tastes worse than dog shit? White dog shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you stop a black man from bleeding? You give him a bandaid. What if he keeps crying? Tell him to stop. What if he cries more? Buy him an ostrich.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What can't catch or throw? A Quadriplegic

thumb_up thumb_down -1

batman has diarrhea

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than having two girlfriends at once? Seven. Seven girlfriends.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

the WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down -3

hey justin

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the crowd do when a lion walked into the bar? Got up and left because they realized the potential danger of the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse then 2 dead monkeys? 3 dead monkeys!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops