How many fingers am i holding up? none, my hand got blown off in Vietnam

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how many babies does it take to fill up a blender? None. they all died before being put in a blender.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

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What's big, hard, in the water, and isolated? Shutter Island

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A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

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I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

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Why was everyone afraid of Nick Morton? Because he had AIDS

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Your momma's so old she might die soon.

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Mahjdichdhsjxidjhsbxu shcowiqx own hdqu Hedgehog the third

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Why couldn't the blonde have kids? She had Ovarian Cancer.

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what is worse than the holocaust. interracial relationship, cough..... oli

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh good I thought you wouldn't make it.

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How does an elephant climb a cliff who cares

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what do you call one black man surrounded by ten white men.... A story teller

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How do chinese families name their children I belive it would be child because chinese families are only allowed 1 child

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Two fish in a tank one said "How do you drive this thing?"

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What do you call a black guy who gives out change? A cashier.

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Rosie are red velvet blue I made eggs just for you

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What did the farmer say when he couldnt find his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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What did the korean guy order at the deli? A sandwich

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what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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What do you get when you cross Bambi and a ghost? Bamboo

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What's wrong with black people? They tend to make mistakes, as do all humans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops