Is your Alzheimers getting better? I have alzeimers?...

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Why are large breasts so awesome? Cleavage is sexually attractive to both men and women

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Sit her in the corner and deprive her of things she likes to do.

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What is brown and salty? A pretzel.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go hang himself.

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A jew walks into a bar.... He has a beer and then goes home to his family.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

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whats the same about a red crayon and a blue crayon? there both the same color except for the blue one

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Q: What happened to Sally, did she get that cough checked out? A: She died while driving there and got in a 12 car pileup.

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the low cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? Me. Let me in. Oh, okay, Come in.

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Duck: got any grapes? Lemonade Seller: no the duck waddeld away and never came back for the guy has no grapes

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How do you get babys to paint a house? depends on how hard you throw them

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What do you call a barn full of black people? antique farm equipment.

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Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

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Up High. *high fives* In The Middle *high fives* Down Low *high fives* In the Grass *high fives* You've been diagnosed with prostate cancer.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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What's the opposite of white? Black. You're racist. You fapped.

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Q: Why did the man have aids? A: He had unprotected sex with a man who had aids.

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What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

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Yo Momma is not fat.

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What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops