How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but I'd like to know how they got in there.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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Why can no one in africa read or write? I would asume the lack of public education combined with the fact that setting up an education system for so many widespread remote comunities would be a logistical nightmare. But then again I have never been to africa and know little about the country and so the premise of this joke is probably a dramatic overstatement in the first place.

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I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

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One Direction???? Gifted singers???? HA HA HA

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why did the dad stop working on the roof he fell off

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why was the mother sad? her sons school was bombed by terrorists. there we no survivors

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What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it? Nothing, scientific research has shown over thousands of years that grapes cannot talk.

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Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you need a poo.... ...hold it in.

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A:Wanna hear a joke? B: Sure A: A joke

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It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave

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Why did the Jew pick up the dollar on the side of the road? Because he dropped it.

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WHO LET THE GHOST OUT! BOO BOO BOO BOO BOO! Mortals: That was a bit funny...

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I liked your first album but I feel that it went downhill from there. There are a few good songs on your third album though.

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Janey Had her first kiss with Jonny. Jonny choked on her ridiculously large was of gum and died.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I got a brother. He's bigger then you.

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An alien spacecraft picks up human transmissions from Earth. They continue on in silence and disgust.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: (sigh) Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust emerging from hell.

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What happens when a bunch of animals break into your house... they eat you.

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The queen having a shit

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Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken.

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Roeses are purple violets are green WTF u just stabbed me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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