A chicken walked into the bar...

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy this song doesn't rhyme penis

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

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Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

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why couldn't jonny ride on a swing? he had no arms or legs why didn't jonny have any arms or legs? he's a potato!

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"Hey, do you guys wanna hear a joke?!" -no, shut up.

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Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? -slavery

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What's a Democrat's favorite activity? Blaming Republicans for shit they didn't do.

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What's worse than hitting your funny bone? Nothing

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She didnt have any arms

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I always used bra`s so I guess you know, nice I guess. Can you please stop it? I like know I am telling but my mind wont like accept it, and I would just like to shut off the laptop, but I want to keep chatting with you for just a bit more.

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mommy mommy! why are we pushing the car over the cliff?! the mom answers shhh youll wake your father...

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what's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? a Jew is a person and a pizza is a food

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Why are female badgers more attracted to the smell of cheese than male badgers? I don't know. Ask Bill Snodgrass

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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roses ar red violets ar blue i have aids

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops