what happens when steven hawking walks into a bar? everyone cheers at the miracle of science.

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How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

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Correctional officer asks an inmate. "Does your elevator go all the way up"? Inmate replied. I don't know we always use the stairs.

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What did the cat say when someone pointed out that cats can't talk? Meow.

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hi dave

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you need a poo.... ...hold it in.

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Why did the Jew pick up the dollar on the side of the road? Because he dropped it.

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Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

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WHO LET THE GHOST OUT! BOO BOO BOO BOO BOO! Mortals: That was a bit funny...

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It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave

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A:Wanna hear a joke? B: Sure A: A joke

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I liked your first album but I feel that it went downhill from there. There are a few good songs on your third album though.

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What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it? Nothing, scientific research has shown over thousands of years that grapes cannot talk.

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why was the mother sad? her sons school was bombed by terrorists. there we no survivors

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The queen having a shit

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What happens when a bunch of animals break into your house... they eat you.

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Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken.

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An alien spacecraft picks up human transmissions from Earth. They continue on in silence and disgust.

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Roeses are purple violets are green WTF u just stabbed me.

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Janey Had her first kiss with Jonny. Jonny choked on her ridiculously large was of gum and died.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: (sigh) Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust emerging from hell.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I got a brother. He's bigger then you.

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I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops