Woman:I give my Heart to You! Man:Thank You!!! The Woman then dies because one can't live without a heart

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Q:where does baby oil come from? A:Only the finest of babies

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Why did the man cut his hair? Cause he has cancer

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why did the bus hit the kid? he dropped his ice cream.

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Why Jimmy doesn't listen to his mother? Because he's deaf

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Do you know why Justin Bieber is so successful? Because he is a talented dancer-singer who was lucky enough to be discovered by pop music icon Usher.

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What did the black guy say to the Jewish guy when it began to rain? It's raining.

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A cheeseburger and fries walk into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve lunch"

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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What did the two prostitute say to each other? I dont know, i wasn't there

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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why did javonne choose club getaway madonna wanted to foster

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LeBron James: Kobe, i got a ring will you stop making fun of me? Kobe Bryant: Yes Kobe and Michael Jordan: LeBron asked if he gets a ring if we'll stop making fun of him LeBron James: Hey Kobe why didn't you answer when i called? Kobe Bryant: Sorry, I only heard it ring once

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How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

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A man is in prison and one day his cellmate offers to help him escape. The cellmate tells the man to quickly hide under the covers on his bed and that he'll instruct him further once the security guard passes. The man is then raped. Savagely.

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Does 2 + 2 = fish? No.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was being chased by a wolf, who promptly ate the chicken when they arrived at the other side.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? gloves.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it does whatever the hell it wants to do!

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Does an Anti-Joke need to have an ironic punch line? ...

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Starving.

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What's the funniest thing about this website? Everyone thinks their fucking hilarious because they keep making jokes about Sally who has no goddamn arms and little kids with terminal cancer

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What's the difference between a gay person and a Nazi? No gay person systematically murdered 6 million people.

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whats brown and booky a book.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops