What did Petunia say to the other Petunia Hi there Petunia

Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

Why was the man sad? His wife left

Why did the tourist cross the road? He was sightseeing.

Knock knock Who's there? Miley Cyrus Holy moly, please come in! Here's your Miley Cyrus CD you order online Thanks you Mr. Mail Man

Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

VITAMIN C!

Knock Knock. What's up? Oh, nothing much, you? Yeah, you know, same old, same old. Cool.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Why did Jonny commit suicide? Airplanes dont have feet.

whats worse than 10 babies in a blender 1 baby in 10 blenders

Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? You die.

Why was Timmy late for class? He got hit by a bus. Why was Jimmy late for class? He saw Timmy lying in the middle of the street, went out to help and got hit by another bus.

Why Bono always walk barefoot ? Because he's an asshole.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

Whats red and hurts your teeth? A brick

I heard you like getting dirty, so I got a dump truck to dump dirt on your bed so you can get dirty while you get dirty.

Why does everyone treat Jesus as some sort of saint for making five thousand people bread, when Hitler made six million people toast?

That Rachael chick needs to get back in the kitchen

What's is the worst thing america has done? Jersey Shore, We mad those idiots rich.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm Scizophrenic And so am I.

You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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