Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't so much cross the road as he did go down the road, to the supermarket, where he was sold to a family of 5, and taken down yet another road to the family's house, where they enjoyed a nice family dinner.

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How do you kill a bunch of flies in one swat? Smack an African kid in the face.

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What do you call a rollercoaster without a coaster? A roller

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Why was the blonde confused? Because someone was dressed in a chicken costume throwing pinecones at her.

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What's better than your first Hanukkah? Not being a Jew.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Hello

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What was the prostitute's favorite number? 68

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When life hands you melons it means you're dyslexic.

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What do you do If you can't afford a hair cut? Don't get one.

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Why did the man starve to death? He had no food.

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How did Bill Framex die? He didn't because he isn't real.

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Why did the Bruins win against the Flyers? ....they had goal tending.

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Why did George smoke weed? Because he was depressed after his wife died and couldn't get over the fact that he would be lonely forevermore.

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Q. What is the fastest animal in the world? A. An Ethiopian chicken.

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a man walks into a bar, he tells the bartender "im not a part of this SYSTEM"

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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Why did the blonde flunk out of school? Because she was a fucking idiot.

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Whiney the poo and the blustery day.

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What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

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What did the 14 year old girl get on her birthday? A cake that read, "You're adopted"!

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A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

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A couple arrive at a Halloween party for nudists. Then they enjoy the themed decor and food.

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What did chad do when he found the grape? He ate it.

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops