Knock-Knock Who's there? A giant spider-like insect that lays eggs in your brain which turn into larvae that drop down onto your tongue and eat your teeth slowly, then form a cocoon and turn into the spider-like insect spoken of previously. You then wake up from this terrible nightmare and get ready for your well paying job.

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Q: Do these jeans make me look fat? A: No your fat makes you look fat.

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Why doesn't Batman exist? Because he was made up.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try to go to heaven because his girlfriend Margaret was cooked into chicken sandwhiches, and he had no kids and he didn't want to marry someone else, so he tried to get ran over but no cars hit him so he cooked himself. AND so he became KFC-Style chicken wings. BUUUT since no one ate them, he grabbed them up from heaven and commented on how delicious he was and proceeded to eat more and then exploded, sending him to heaven's heaven. But it was just a dream. And Margaret had to do laundry some more today because he freaking caused a urine tsunami. You're welcome.

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What's worse than 9/11? FaZe Banks' upload times

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Q: What did Nala say to Simba during the stampede? A: Nothing. She was nowhere to be found during that scene.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? No. Trees don't jump

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What do you get when you mix a dog and a fish? A hot fillet.

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How did the blonde die? She got swallowed whole by a 1,000-foot scorpion.

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The man and the women were doing something. What are you looking? They just talked

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What's the difference between an American and a Russian? One's American and one's Russian.

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Why didn't Katie cross the road? Because she's dead.

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What looks like half a loaf of bread. The other half

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Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

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Why did the aeroplane fall out of the sky? An ant jumped on it

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What do you call a black man driving a fire truck? A firefighter you racist.

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Q. Why did the car break dance? A. I dont know!

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Why is Joel even here? Sexperience.

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MOTHER OF GOD! Someone get this horse out of here!

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What can little Billy play? The tumour, sorry I meant what will little Billy die from.

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I know a kid named Ruslonia. What type of name is that?

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Why did the pregnant Mexican cross the border? Nobody knows. She was shot down on site.

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where does al queda go on a business trip the twin towers

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What did the unicorn eat for a snack? Nothing. Unicorns are a majestic fiction animal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops