roses are red pickles are green i like your legs and whats in between

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Knock-Knock Who's there? A giant spider-like insect that lays eggs in your brain which turn into larvae that drop down onto your tongue and eat your teeth slowly, then form a cocoon and turn into the spider-like insect spoken of previously. You then wake up from this terrible nightmare and get ready for your well paying job.

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why did the blonde get caught shop lifting? she wasnt a very good theif

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Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

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Q:what is the most annoying word that means nothing? A:every word has a meaning your question is invalid. ~Phish <3

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how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles??????? you nail its other hand to the floor

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Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm. Wats worse then biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an eggplant and finding half a worm, as eggplants are usually more expensive so you will have wasted more money and would probably not be willing to eat the rest. And eggplants taste like shit.

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Q: Do these jeans make me look fat? A: No your fat makes you look fat.

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Why did the man punch NUGE in the face? Because he got angry that NUGE was being such a BA person and he was jealous of NUGE'S style and he just got dumped by his ugly as poop mom which was eating Anti Chicken.

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phone and phone charger were talking to each other suddenly a massive hand swopped down to the charger and another hand came down and grabbed the phone they both started screeming so the hand stabbed the phone with the phone charger so the phone said... ALL I DID WAS SCREEM (RANDOMZZZ) (L.W)

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One's fun to smash and the other is a watermelon.

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How did the blonde die? She got swallowed whole by a 1,000-foot scorpion.

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What's worse than 9/11? FaZe Banks' upload times

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What do you call a black man driving a fire truck? A firefighter you racist.

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Q. Why did the car break dance? A. I dont know!

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Why did the aeroplane fall out of the sky? An ant jumped on it

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? No. Trees don't jump

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Why is Joel even here? Sexperience.

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Q: What did Nala say to Simba during the stampede? A: Nothing. She was nowhere to be found during that scene.

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Why didn't Katie cross the road? Because she's dead.

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What looks like half a loaf of bread. The other half

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What's the difference between an American and a Russian? One's American and one's Russian.

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Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops