What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

Why didn't Angie die when she jumped off the Empire State Building? She landed on a pancake

Q: How do you make sweet sexy love to cow and make her come several times and then have her lick your stick clean without nobody ever finding out? While secretly keeping her as your girlfriend forever? A: Wouldn't you like to know...

Did you hear about the guy that told bad jokes? No.

Why was Six afraid of Seven. Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

What did Tom get for his 5th Birthday ? Nothing, he died when he was 2 years old

Who's worse: Ghandi or Hitler Answer: Hitler

Why did the deer cross the road? The overpopulation of man has caused an expansion of construction into the habitat of the deer and it has required him to occasionally frequent human populated areas.

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Kindly ask him to come down.

How do you stop a rhino from charging? An ak-47

Person #1: Hello captain obvious. Person #2: Hello.

Why was the black man tangled in chains at the bottom of the ocean? Because he was a highly skilled diver and environmentalist who tragically entangled himself and consequently died slowly and painfully of suffocation while trying to save a whale from eating waste metal.

Why did the Nun refude to say Thank You Father? Because she was raped by her father as a child.

How many dollies does little Suzie have? Enough to kill 15 men

Q: What did the blind boy get for his birthday? A: He doesn't know

When life gives you lemons Unless it gives you sugar, water, and a cup your lemonade will suck

NEVER

Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Ben Corbishley

I think poop is tasty... just kidding.

why doesnt bally lifeguard he isnt qualified

When the tsunami hit in 2004, christians worldwide prayed for the victims. it didnt help

Q: what's red, green and goes over 100 miles per hour? A: a frog in a blender

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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